A pair of women were caught a few days ago crossing the street without using the crosswalk. When a police officer approached and began writing them a ticket, they became very upset.

So, one of them decided to do the only logical thing and started to moon passing traffic.

Witnesses say it looked nothing like this

The woman was, of course, arrested for her indecency. So let this be a lesson to you reader: when a traffic cop frustrates you, just say no to crack.

But the best part of the story is this: “The officer noted in his report that the woman used the crosswalks while crossing the street to expose herself.” Lesson learned!

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So, I’m back at school and life is crowded and oh no. In fact I’ve been so busy that I–

HEY LOOK YOU GUYS A KITTEN.

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Well, school’s starting again for a lot of people out there (myself included). Before a backup of homework and projects threatens to waste the rest of your warm months, why not head to the beach? Enjoy those last few summery rays! Maybe go snorkeling, or…

maybe build a sandcastle:

Like this man.

Or this man.

Or this woman.

Who says it needs to be a castle?

For more information about these (and more) amazing sand artists, check this out.

For information on how to build your own sand sculpture, check this out.

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Well. You selected your winner.

The image was:

And the winning caption is:

“High five! Who’s Gay?” by Virginia

…to which I can only respond,

But honestly, congrats, Virginia, and also congratulations to Frobozz who came in a very close second with “Uh, coach? I have to pee…nevermind.”

Thanks for all the awesome submissions!

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…For your favorite caption here! I’ve never seen such a low submission-to-vote ratio!

And here’s something interesting I thought you’d like to see after tiring yourself out with all that democracy:

Free Screen Cleaner!

It’s a screen cleaner, and it’s automatic! No more worrying about screen-safe cloths and all that nonsense. Just download this program and let it wash your screen clean:

Or, if you’re a cat person…

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One thing not mentioned in the SNTC guide to summer was movies. Summer is one of the best times of year to go and waste the precious sunshine and sit in a dark crowded room in front of a giant projector and watch the latest Hollywood sequel!

But hey, let’s not be too harsh on sequels this year. The Dark Knight. Have you guys seen it yet? Holy cow. It’s pretty intense.

So intense, in fact, that nothing made me happier than this parody…

WHY SO SERIOUS?

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Remember Cliff, the Youtube Guitar Hero (excuse me, Rock Band) Musician? He was pretty awesome right?

He’s currently in a competition. Not for the highest score, but for the most style. As you can see here, his style is pretty much greater than anyone else’s style in the competition. He’s the only one rocking out, and the only one getting the crowd worked up.

Yet he’s still sinking fast to second place. How is this? I do not know. But I do know that the guy who is threatening to over take him - Brian “Just Stands There All Boring” McCormack does not deserve to win this one.

I’m asking you to vote for John Roskopf (Cliff’s real name, oh internet) because he rocks.

SNTC officially has an investment in this tournament. Please vote for the real rocker. Please vote today - contest ends midnight tonight.

And please vote more than once. Just give it about ten minutes to forget your IP address.

If he wins, I will make an extra special post of…something wonderful to thank you guys. We cannot let this injustice stand!

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Well, the final chapter of SayNoToCrack’s Guide to enjoying Summer is here!

Chapter Last: Activities!

Did you know that there are lots of Activities to take part in during the summer? There are! And with summer rapidly passing by, you’d better get right on it! Aside from picking the berries, eating the food, and admiring the wildlife of summer, here are a few more activities that the summer can offer…

Fairs and Carnivals

Fairs and carnivals! These celebrations take place during the summer and offer a variety of activities. Risk your life on rickety roller-coasters that have traveled from fair to fair across the state for over twenty years! Try to win oversized stuffed animals in rigged games from shady dealers! Watch various vehicles smash into each other - a lot! Listen to mediocre local talents compete for prizes! Enter a contest! Go hog wild!

Play with Water!

You can go swimming in the summer! You can fire water guns or throw water balloons! You can run fast and jump down too hard on a slip-n’-slide and hurt yourself on all the rocks you forgot to make sure weren’t there when you laid it down! Get wet! Woohoo!

Star Gazing!

Try this! Lay on a blanket outside at night and look up! Those sure are stars, aren’t they? Fantastic!

Get Eaten!

Did you know that all the bugs that want to eat you most of all come out almost exclusively in the summer? Sweet deal! Go outside and see for yourself! And just wait - some bugs don’t want to eat you at all, they just want to dive on your face! Moths, mayflies, dragonflies, golly-whoppers (or skeeter-eaters, if you swing that way), and bees all love to get caught in your hair! It’s true! And ants, centipedes, and ladybugs simply cannot wait to get all over the snacks you love. Party!

Be way too Dang Hot.

Sweet lord. It’s over 88 degrees Fahrenheit out there. If you jump gently, you can feel yourself become suspended in the gelatin-thick humidity of the air. Sweat and sun. Did you know that your A/C is 100% more likely to break during the summer than any other time?

Can you combat it with lemonade? Water? Sleep? Maybe. But no matter what activity you choose to engage in this summer, you will also be way too dang hot. Hooray for multitasking!

Enjoy the rest of your summer, you crazy kids!

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