And healthy, too!

Remember how awesome Star Wars were? I mean, the originals. Sure, the new ones were pretty cool in terms of special effects mostly, but on the whole they just lacked that spark, that imagination, that wonderful sense of adventure that has created a race of fans the likes of which the world may never see again. No, the new trilogy doesn’t have the same inspiration. Instead, is has this guy.

Now, unless you’re five or five-ish, you probably find Jar-Jar to be one of the most annoying creatures ever put on screen (I won’t count M. Night). So we should all give a hearty thanks to this guy, for having provided us with a new and interesting way to actually enjoy Jar-Jar Binks.

In a salad!

I’ve never seen such amazing veggie-carving skills, so hats off. I hope when you make your own little alien salad, you enjoy cutting his big sappy face apart as much as I enjoy imagining it.

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A pair of women were caught a few days ago crossing the street without using the crosswalk. When a police officer approached and began writing them a ticket, they became very upset.

So, one of them decided to do the only logical thing and started to moon passing traffic.

Witnesses say it looked nothing like this

The woman was, of course, arrested for her indecency. So let this be a lesson to you reader: when a traffic cop frustrates you, just say no to crack.

But the best part of the story is this: “The officer noted in his report that the woman used the crosswalks while crossing the street to expose herself.” Lesson learned!

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So, I’m back at school and life is crowded and oh no. In fact I’ve been so busy that I–

HEY LOOK YOU GUYS A KITTEN.

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Well, school’s starting again for a lot of people out there (myself included). Before a backup of homework and projects threatens to waste the rest of your warm months, why not head to the beach? Enjoy those last few summery rays! Maybe go snorkeling, or…

maybe build a sandcastle:

Like this man.

Or this man.

Or this woman.

Who says it needs to be a castle?

For more information about these (and more) amazing sand artists, check this out.

For information on how to build your own sand sculpture, check this out.

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Well. You selected your winner.

The image was:

And the winning caption is:

“High five! Who’s Gay?” by Virginia

…to which I can only respond,

But honestly, congrats, Virginia, and also congratulations to Frobozz who came in a very close second with “Uh, coach? I have to pee…nevermind.”

Thanks for all the awesome submissions!

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…For your favorite caption here! I’ve never seen such a low submission-to-vote ratio!

And here’s something interesting I thought you’d like to see after tiring yourself out with all that democracy:

Free Screen Cleaner!

It’s a screen cleaner, and it’s automatic! No more worrying about screen-safe cloths and all that nonsense. Just download this program and let it wash your screen clean:

Or, if you’re a cat person…

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It’s good old Step 2 of the caption contest. Pick your favorite!

Here’s the picture:

And here are your contestants:

1. Alex - “Oh my god it’s full of stars!”

2. John - “Donut! So…close!”

3. Frobozz - “Uh, coach? I have to pee…nevermind.”

4. Schnitzelboi - “Dave Johnson, the first and only casualty of the highly contested and now banned sport of individual synchronized swimming, reaches for the skies, and in his last moments of vitality, mistakes the Olympic rings for the light at the end of the tunnel.”

5. Schnitzelboi - “HALP”

6. ardie - “DAA-DUM! (Jaw’s theme)”

7. Sheldon - ” ‘Double Vision?’ The picture shown is frame number 8, in the filmstrip at the bottom!”

8. Virginia - “High five! Who’s Gay?”

9. CheeseDuck - “Noooo! Come back! I swear I’ll change!”

10. NC - “Swimming For Dummies Tip Number 38# : Don’t mistake Olympic Games Logo for life float in times of distress…”

11. Bunk Strutts - “I CN HAZ POTTY BRAK PLS?”

12. SOMEONETHATKILLS - “Pick Me!”

Is that a threat for votes, or a username, sir?

13. Pancake - “Winning gold in the hologram catching event is no easy task.”

14. Biz - “Even the Nazi’s can put aside their differences during the Olympics.”

Vote for your favorite by posting its number in the comments below! Happy voting!

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I know that anything you read here has been taking away from your valuable Olympics-watching time, so here’s a caption contest in the spirit of the summer games!

Caption this:

I’m looking forward to what you guys think of this one.

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One thing not mentioned in the SNTC guide to summer was movies. Summer is one of the best times of year to go and waste the precious sunshine and sit in a dark crowded room in front of a giant projector and watch the latest Hollywood sequel!

But hey, let’s not be too harsh on sequels this year. The Dark Knight. Have you guys seen it yet? Holy cow. It’s pretty intense.

So intense, in fact, that nothing made me happier than this parody…

WHY SO SERIOUS?

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Remember Cliff, the Youtube Guitar Hero (excuse me, Rock Band) Musician? He was pretty awesome right?

He’s currently in a competition. Not for the highest score, but for the most style. As you can see here, his style is pretty much greater than anyone else’s style in the competition. He’s the only one rocking out, and the only one getting the crowd worked up.

Yet he’s still sinking fast to second place. How is this? I do not know. But I do know that the guy who is threatening to over take him - Brian “Just Stands There All Boring” McCormack does not deserve to win this one.

I’m asking you to vote for John Roskopf (Cliff’s real name, oh internet) because he rocks.

SNTC officially has an investment in this tournament. Please vote for the real rocker. Please vote today - contest ends midnight tonight.

And please vote more than once. Just give it about ten minutes to forget your IP address.

If he wins, I will make an extra special post of…something wonderful to thank you guys. We cannot let this injustice stand!

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