You know, I always thought that, working in stores like I have and do, people were far too good at being annoying. Like, it was almost too fantastically horrible. I suspected they rehearsed it, or that there was some kind of hand-book. Or instructional videotape. Or list of ideas for annoying people with annoyer’s block.

I was right. There it is.

Hightlights:
177. Tell people their fly is down when they’re wearing sweat pants.

178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

179. At random times in a conversation, say “Hi,” “Hello Sir, how are you?” or “Have a good day, thank you.”

180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone’s car.

Now you know! You’ve got the secret in your hands! You can bust the schemes of the annoying right open! The very second you see someone about to do something annoying you can save them the trouble: “Hey, pal. I’ve seen this before. Move along and get some new material.”

…if only life were like that. But hey. Let’s make our own list. I’ll kick it off with number 1:

1) Go to class with a cold. Sniff loudly and frequently, despite a full pack of tissues in front of you.

“

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Filed under: Cell Phones

Are you a terrible cook? Tired of calling your mom for help every time you burn the main course? So was Israeli student Igor Ginzburg.

Tired of pizza and Taco Bell (though we aren’t sure how that is possible), Ginzburg devised a cooking program for mobile phones called Chefi that alleviates the need to call mom for cooking tips.

Just tell Chefi what you are making and the program tells you everything you need. It even advises you on other dishes that may go with your meal. Chefi is voice activated so you don’t need to touch the phone with your greasy mitts while you cook — it also waits for your voice commands before moving ahead with the instructions.

While Chefi has yet to hit the mass market, Ginzburg hopes that users with their own recipes will ultimately upload recipes to a website that all Chefi users will be able to use with the cell phone application.

From Reuters

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The Angelshare single-bottle wine cellar looks brilliant, capable of keeping your wine chilled while maintaining a minimum humidity level of 65% at all times regardless of the current room temperature. This container comes wrapped in a double-paneled half-smoke glass window that was specially designed to block damaging UV rays to your bottle of bubbly. The price to pay for such a stylish device at home? A whooping $396.55.

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Filed under: Action & Adventure, Drama, Thrillers, New Releases, Universal, Theatrical Reviews, New in Theaters, War

A world within a world comes crashing down in the opening sequence of The Kingdom, the new film from director (and uncredited actor) Peter Berg. An American compound inside Saudi Arabia, where ballgames and barbecues are the norm and uncovered female faces mock the law that applies outside the gates, is attacked by men with machine guns and bombs. The details are thoroughly convincing in this scene — as machine gun fire sends the Americans fleeing in a panic, one of the terrorists, wearing the uniform of a Saudi policeman, falsely beckons some of them his way before setting off a vest of explosives. Later that night, after first-responders have quarantined the crime-scene and set up their own camp, a second-wave attack hits, destroying the entire area and creating a media event that has to be dealt with one way or the other by the American political machinery. This is a decent set-up for a movie, and it’s as well-executed as you’d want a set-up to be, but it gives birth to an oddly-schizophrenic film.

You could almost call The Kingdom a double-feature, although it seems blithely unaware of its bifurcated status. To explain: the first half of the film — actually, closer to two-thirds — is professorial and serious, going so far as to offer the audience a tedious lecture on Saudi Arabia’s history and political situation, balancing Western-style realpolitik with the needs of a population that seems to prefer living by religious teachings. As the aftermath of the compound bombing seeps back to Washington, an FBI team led by steely-eyed Jamie Foxx and comprised of Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper and Jason Bateman, seeks an entry point to the situation; they want to go investigate the bombing, but the State Department prefers to recognize the Saudi government’s ‘no boots on the ground’ mandate, lest they come off as looking like puppets. Much screentime is given over to a scheme by Foxx to blackmail a Saudi diplomat in order to get his team access, and everything up to this point is deliberately structured as a political thriller. That’s why the second part of the film is so surprising.

Continue reading Review: The Kingdom — Ryan’s Review

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Filed under: Cellphones, GPS, Handhelds

It’s been a tick since Motorola / Symbol’s MC70 saw a notable refresh, but today Moto is announcing that the newest version of its rugged Enterprise Digital Assistant (EDA) will boast GPS capability. The firm claims that this addition will allow organizations with field-based employees to “track and manage dynamic, real-time tasking, as well as verify specific locations of activities and provide mobile workers with pinpoint navigation support to improve location-based productivity.” Additionally, the device will still include barcode data and signature capture, WWAN, 802.11a/b/g and Bluetooth, and should be available for sale worldwide in Q1 of 2008.

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

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Filed under: PlayStation Store, PlayStation Network, Demos, News

Even though we’ve had a Japanese demo for Bladestorm for a while, some of us really need to play it in English before we can pass judgment on Koei’s not-quite hack-n-slash title. So, Koei is doing just that, releasing a demo on the PSN and Xbox Live tomorrow, October 4th, so we can try to wrap our minds around the idea that you can only swing your sword every once in a while. No matter. The fact remains we’re really starting to get some demos before the games are released. That’s always a good thing!

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Filed under: Google (GOOG), Scandals, Politics

Despite Google’s (NASDAQ:GOOG) corporate mantra “Do No Evil,” the company has managed to help the federal government find another way to squander our money.

This time, images from Google Earth have revealed that the Seabee’s barracks at the U.S. Navy’s Coronado amphibious base, constructed in the late 1960’s, were built in the shape of a swastika. After the Jewish Anti-Defamation League protested, the cause was taken up by U.S. Rep. Susan Davis, Democrat from San Diego, and various squawk radio hosts. In response, the Navy has now budgeted $600,000 to camouflage the building.

So here’s the way we save $600,000. After Google unveiled its Street View program, providing street-level navigatible images of major U.S. cities, people whose images had been captured in these photos complained. In response, Google has agreed to smudge faces so that individuals cannot be recognized.

Couldn’t the same be done with images of the swastika building? Smudge them until the swastika disappears. Or, better yet, why not replace the image with a smiley face? Only astronauts would know the difference, and for a small cut of the $600,000 they could probably be convinced to overlook it.

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Filed under: International markets, Google (GOOG), Yahoo! (YHOO), China, Newsletters, Japan, Technical Analysis, Stocks to Buy

Jim Collins, editor of OTC Insight, uses a proprietary quantitative system to isolate high growth and momentum stocks trading at reasonable valuations relative to that growth.

His latest two featured stocks based on these criteria are both China-based companies: Internet search provider Baidu.com (NASDAQ: BIDU) and online gaming firm Shanda Interactive Entertainment Limited (NASDAQ: SNDA).

Collins notes that Baidu’s search engine was the most frequently used in China in 2006. Last December, he adds, Baidu announced its intention to enter the Japanese search market, which is currently dominated by Yahoo! (NASDAQ: YHOO) and Google (NASDAQ: GOOG).

In March, he adds, the company launched a limited beta trial of its Japanese language search services, which included web and image search.

For the quarter ended June 30, 2007, he reports, Baidu showed earnings of $0.61 a share, compared with $0.21 per share in the prior year. Revenues, he states, increased 121% to $53 million. The stock, he explains, has a relative strength rating of 99 (out of 100) and garners a B+ for accumulation and distribution.

Meanwhile, his growth and momentum strategy also favors Shanda Interactive, which offers online games. Collins notes that Shanda’s most popular games are known as massively multi-player online role-playing games.

The games, he explains, allow thousands of users to interact with one another in a virtual world by assuming ongoing roles or characters with different features. They are continuous, and players accumulate features and communicate with one another through instant messaging.

In July, he adds, Shanda announced that it signed an agreement to acquire Aurora Technology, which he contends is recognized as one of the top brands in this market. Also, the company acquired over 50% in Actoz, a South Korea online game developer.

For the quarter ended June 30, he observes that Shanda reported net income of $0.37 per share compared to $0.12 in the prior year. Revenues increased 45% to $74 million. He notes that the stock earns a relative strength rating of 94 and receives a B+ for accumulation and distribution.

Each day, Steven Halpern’s TheStockAdvisors.com features the latest stock picks and investment ideas from the nation’s leading financial newsletter advisors.

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I love this series Flight of The Conchords given to me by Aurelius. I especially loved the Foux da fa fa episode on French impersonation. It is not meant to be an accurate reflection of French. It’s a representation of the public school child’s exposure to French culture via outdated textbooks, 1970’s film reels and Serge Gainsbourg disco era.

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